Is there room in my heart to forgive the man who killed my family in their prime? Does he deserve my love, my sympathy, or even my consideration? Are there some criteria he must meet before I bestow my forgiveness on him? These are the questions I asked.

I knew within, that I must forgive. As difficult a decision as it was, I reasoned that it must have been an accident. He did not actually mean to hurt my family. It just happened, perhaps by mistake. After all, to err is human. After two or three days of grappling with this issue, I resolved to forgive him. This decision was based on a general view of the Bible that we are to forgive. I thought the issue had been laid to rest.

A few days later, I read in the Lincoln Star daily newspaper of Lincoln, Nebraska, that the young man’s blood alcohol level had exceeded the legal limit. I became furious. This was no longer an accident. It was blatant murder, I reasoned. My decision to forgive was shaken. Drinking and driving; how could he be drinking and driving? I had seen so many warnings on TV about driving under the influence of alcohol. The warning apparently was not heeded. He apparently could have cared less. The dangers of drinking and driving meant nothing to him.

Anger welled up inside me. Their deaths could have been avoided. My family could have been alive but for him. His drinking problem had deprived me of my family. His drinking problem had obliterated all the dreams Johnny and I had about our future.

Yes, it was his drinking problem that plunged my family into an early grave, and which denied my children adulthood and success in life. My husband left behind him no offspring to carry on his name. The dream of having grandchildren through my children had vanished. I would have to start raising a new family (if ever I do again), all because of one man’s drinking problem.

Hatred for this man who had wreaked so much havoc was finding its way into my heart. How could my family die as a result of a man drinking? How could my husband be snatched away from me because a young man decided to enjoy some bottles of beer? And my children? All of them died in a single day. How could he do that? How could he be so careless? Someone apparently must have warned him about drinking and driving. And yet, he had single handedly killed my family. He did not deserve any forgiveness. He should not be forgiven. My anger was so strong.